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(en) Class War Issue 87 Winter 2004-5 - part II. (2/3)

From Harry Roberts <classwaruk@hotmail.com>
Date Tue, 1 Mar 2005 08:18:56 +0100 (CET)

A - I N F O S N E W S S E R V I C E
News about and of interest to anarchists
http://ainfos.ca/ http://ainfos.ca/index24.html

UKIP Advertisement
This is an ad-ver-tise-ment on behalf of the United Kingdom Independence party.
UKIP - The Party That Wants to Keep The Pound - Because We've Got Plenty!
The United Kingdom Independence Party is the only British political party
dedicated to withdrawing from the European Union, apart from the other
parties, with exactly the same position, whom we don't like to talk about.
A vote for UKIP is a vote to withdraw from the European Union. We will
however, if elected, take our seats in Brussels, at the European Parliament.
We go to Europe though, not to praise the European ideal, but to bury it in
a sea of opposition, criticism and expense claims! The taxpayers of Britain
will certainly see a difference after four years of having a UKIP MEP!
The second plank of our programme is to keep the pound. As you might have
noticed, most of our members are so good at this, they want to extend their
personal practices to the entire country! Whilst keeping the pound is
essential for our national independence, we should point out that the pound
is so precious that its distribution must be limited to those who are
capable of looking after it - i.e. people like us!
To summarise our positions:

Monetary Policy - Keep the pound! Why should we have unelected, distant
bureaucrats and bankers in far-off Brussels dictating our economic policy,
when we can continue to have an unelected bunch of bankers in London do
exactly the same job?

Withdraw from the EU - We shall bring about a British withdrawal from Europe
by taking our seats in the European parliament, and joining an electoral
bloc with lots of like-minded politicians from other EU countries. Proof
again that the ideal of European co-operation is a nonsense!

Race - We are not a racist party, indeed our policies on black people are
quite clear. We think everybody should own one! Put that in your crack pipe
and smoke it Mr BBC liberal!

Gays - What's wrong with being happy? That's what the word means, and that's
what it will carry on meaning under a UKIP government!

Do you want to join the UK Independence Party? If so please contact Robert
Kilroy-Silk MEP, The European Parliament, Brussels, Belgium.

Or alternatively write to Mr Kilroy-Silk, British Patriot at: Suntan Villas,
No Arabs Except The Gardener Please, Marbella, Spain.

Bear Shits In Woods!
That should really have been the title of The Secret Agent, the BBC’s latest
expose of the British National Party, screened this summer. A BNP member
from Bradford who had allegedly seen the light, Andy Sykes, worked with BBC
journalist Jason Gwynne, to “bring the public the truth” about the BNP.
Since Nick Griffin joined the BNP, and particularly since he became its
leader, there has been a succession of programmes “exposing” either the BNP,
or Griffin himself. Virtually every programme has seen detailed follow up in
the print media, a parade of failed politicians jostling one another to
condemn the BNP the loudest, and a succession of new members and new
branches for the fascists.
Virtually all of these programmes exist merely as statements of the bleeding
obvious. Members of the BNP don’t like black people. They don’t like
immigration. The BNP has tried to modernise itself, but still has a lot of
people in the party who are racists who like to fight. All opinions that
could be obtained from a sixth form politics student, yet instead justify
months of infiltration, expensive surveillance equipment (and no doubt) the
continued lubrication of fascists tongues with BBC bought lager.
Rumour has it that a follow up documentary is being made involving Andy
Sykes’ dog. This is expected to tackle the issue of whether or not his dog
barks, and if it likes to chase cats. Nick Griffin will then be grilled
about these issues in a 10 minute slot on Newsnight.
One thing the BBC will never do is ask why 800,000 people voted BNP in the
last elections. They will not produce sustained, hard-hitting programmes
examining the corruption in Labour run councils, indeed with Blair having
seen them off over the WMD row, the BBC is now scared to even continue
criticising Blair over Iraq.
Nor are the BBC likely to look at the problem millions of working class
people have with Islam as a religion, or whether or not public services, in
working class areas are affected or not by issues like asylum seekers. For
BBC executives, who are not reliant on inner city schools, hospitals and
doctors surgeries, these are not issues. For many working class people they
It is noticeable how none of these exposes of Nick Griffin and his party
have concentrated on Griffin’s personal wealth, and contrasted the BNP’s
middle and upper class leadership with its working class base in places like
Oldham and Bradford. Not very BBC to do that sort of thing though is it?
Fighting fascism effectively does not require constant exposes of men
talking big in pubs. If it did, why hasn’t the BNP vote collapsed? Opposing
the BNP means pulling the rug from under their feet. This requires both the
physical strength to actually yank the buggers off their feet, but it needs
the political base, and political practice to keep them off their feet. It
means hammering the established parties so fucking hard that no one notices
– or cares – what the BNP says about them. It means working to rebuild
working class communities that have been divided by religion, poverty and
inter-gang violence.
Television programmes are little or no use in doing that!

Don’t Dictate to me!
All of the BNPs efforts to modernise, and to present themselves as a modern
nationalist (not fascist!) party are seemingly wasted on Tony Martin.
Norfolk’s right-wing pin-up boy and burglar shooter recently told The Sunday
Telegraph that he had become a BNP supporter, and that he felt Britain
should be run by a dictator. Martin really does appear to be living proof
that prison does not work! One thing is for sure - wherever Tony Martin
should be he certainly won’t be out of place in the BNP.

They’ll Confess To Anything
Three cheers to right wing film nut Mel Gibson, for giving the world his
religious epic “The Passion of Christ” (for those excited by the use of the
word passion, we’re sorry to say but there is not much nookey in the film!)
As well as giving millions of born again nutters something to do in the
evenings, “The Passion of Christ” has encouraged a succession of oddballs,
overcome with religious conversion, to confess to various murders. Whilst
most of these cases have been in the USA (naturally) Europe has kept its end
up with the confession of Norwegian nazi Johnny Olsen.
Back in 1994 and 1995 bomb attacks were launched on the Blitz Anarchist
centre in Oslo. These attacks remained unsolved until Olsen saw Mel Gibson’s
“masterpiece”. Overcome with the spirit of God, Olsen owned up to two bomb
attacks, before, even more bizarrely, changing his mind and withdrawing his
It remains to be seen whether he will change his mind for the second time –
rumours that Oslo police are sitting him down to daily showings of “The
Passion..” are unconfirmed!
Class War believes that anything that gets religious nutcases of our
streets, and behind bars, is to be encouraged. Here’s to the sequel!

Advertisements –

Anti-fascist badges: 40 pence each
Anti-Faschistsche Aktion patch: £1.50

Anti-Fascist Always T shirts, all sizes £8
Redskin t shirts, all sizes £8
Bash the Fash pamphlet £1.50

Daft Cops

If They Had Brains, They Would be Dangerous!
Welcome to Class War’s regular round up of buffoonery from the boys in blue.
As usual, this column of the paper was the easiest to fill!

Diplomatic Protect Unit
Its nice to know that senior officers in this team are capable of taking the
sort of hard decisions management is paid for. When PC Amoreena Adams was
suffering from depression they temporarily suspended her firearms licence.
However a stroke of genius from senior officers saw her later posted to the
armoury at the Territorial Policing HQ on Victoria Embankment, where she
shot herself. Bang on!

Northumbria - Bungling cops who kicked down a door in a 3.30am raid found
they were at the right address but the wrong town. Officers who went to
Berwick Road Gateshead about a disturbance should have been five miles away
in Wallsend, Newcastle. Northumbria police blamed confusing reports for
getting the wrong town but later denied they had left the first house
unsecured. Confused reports? Confused plod more like!

Royal Protection Unit
It could happen to anyone. There you are, standing on a chair to close a
window, and you overbalance and fall. What can we say to the unnamed
officer, in the elite Royal Protection squad, who stumbled into a painting,
gashing its canvas, and leaving the royal picture collection a million
pounds worse off. Perhaps he could pay it back out of his overtime?

Surrey Police
It was doubles all round at Guildford police station, when special constable
Anthony McArdle reported for duty. You’ve got to be pretty desperate to be a
special, but no one could accuse McArdle of letting the job get in the way
of his social life. When breathalysed at the station he was found to be a
whopping four times over the limit and sadly his career as a police offisher
is over. Never mind Anthony, you might find people start talking to you
again now, and you will certainly have a lot more time to spend down the

Greater Manchester Police
Its farewell also to PC Gary Hart, who resigned from GMP after being
convicted of picking up a prostitute whilst on duty in his police car. Hart,
who took the women to the unmanned Castle Street police station even failed
to pay her the agreed £20. In his defence he claimed that he was not
kerb-crawling but “gathering intelligence on drink-drivers”. A long career
as a security guard beckons Gary!

Avon and Somerset Special Branch
We know that Britain is safe from terrorist attack as long as we have men of
this calibre to protect us. When the singer in Clash tribute band London
Calling sent a text message suggesting some changes to the lyrics of “Tommy
Gun” he did not expect to be pulled in by anti-terrorist police. After Mike
Devine sent the message to the wrong number he was visited at work by police
officers concerned that that he was plotting to hi-jack an airliner. The
officers eventually left Mr Devine alone after he showed them the relevant
lyrics on a Clash website. Al-Qaeda must be quaking in their boots!

Look out for PC Scott Haston, who tried to clear his slate in the station
canteen using a forged £20 note he had seized from a supermarket. Witty
Haston then tried to pass it off as a joke, until he found himself laughing
all the way to Peterborough Crown Court. Can a career in the Fraud Squad be
far away?

Now this one impressed even hardened cop-watchers at Class War HQ. When a
group of six officers from the Territorial Support Group were sent to calm
crowds in Soho, they found themselves dealing with a mob leering and
cheering in the direction of a large van, where a porn film was apparently
being made.
Always willing to put themselves into the firing line, two hardy officers
entered the van, truncheons at the ready. As concerned officers made frantic
calls to enquire if they needed assistance, it soon became clear that
something had indeed popped up. All was quickly revealed when the film
“Horny Policeman” appeared on the internet, at
http://www.hornypoliceman.net/. The two officers concerned now have a great
deal more time to pursue their acting careers, as they are suspended on full
pay. As Class War’s always said – their brains really are in their trousers!

Premier League Scum
Kilmarnock Prison, run by Premier Prison Services Ltd, is Scotland’s only
private prison. Its officers though, are as big a set of bastards as any HMP
in England or Scotland. In August David Allen, a 44 year old former
supervisor at the jail was jailed for two years for planting heroin on an
inmate during a cell search. A junior warder, John Robertson, who was with
him during the search received 300 hours community service.
Lets hope that whichever jail Allen is doing his time in, every prisoner
knows precisely who he is.

No Comment
In the last issue of Class War we highlighted the very welcome pay out to
demonstrators arrested for opposing the Queens Jubilee in 2002. Rather than
simply spend all that money down the pub, we are pleased to report that part
of the compensation went to fund an excellent pamphlet advising people on
what to do if arrested. “No Comment – the defendants guide to arrest” is
available for a SAE from No Comment, c/o BM Automatic, London, WC1N 3XX.
Copies are also available on-line at www.ldmg.org.uk
The Legal Defence Monitoring Group also intend to publish a defendants guide
to the criminal justice system, soonish!

Class War Prisoners needs your help, the paper is done for free, the group
cant exist without the input from other prisoners, we need your sleaze,
gossip, news and views to make Class War the best paper on your prison wing.
Each issue we do a prisoners page with news from around the world on prisons
inmates should know about, we have always maintained that the paper is free
to all class struggle prisoners, if your in for shop lifting or trying to
assassinate the queen get in touch, we have been trying to find news on
privatisation in our crumbling gaols, over crowding, etc.
If you want Class War delivered to your cell door drop us a line with your
address clearly written, recommend a friend in prison, we want the paper in
your library. We will do our up most to make sure the paper gets to you and
it doesn’t go out to wrong’ uns (paedophiles, nonces, rapists, corrupt
judges and coppers, grasses, racists and the likes of Jeffrey Archer).

Top Ten Silly Names
These rich bastards just can’t seem to help themselves. Check these out!

10. Tamara Mellon – Head of the 50 million dollar Jimmy Choo fashion(?)
empire, Tamara is wet and yellow by name, wet and yellow by nature!

9. Phillipa Shirley-Bevan – Those who want to throw rocks at Pippa should
go along to the Jed Forest Hunt in Roxburghshire.

8. Isabella Anstruther-Gough-Calthorpe – Apparently this London heiress is
Prince William’s latest girlfriend. Silly name, silly cow.

7. Mr Otis Ferry – Brian Ferry named his son after the great black soul
singer Otis Redding. How inappropriate for someone who has grown up to be a
spoilt, whining, soulless foxhunter.

6. Dr Peter Spillet, the suitably named Head of Environment, Quality and
Sustainability, at Thames Water.

5. Julian de Vere Whiteway-Wilkinson – Son a prominent Devon family,
Whiteway-Wilkinson was recently convicted of supplying cocaine to city
businessmen. Writing his name should fill up most of the cell door!

4. Ms Phoebe Hobby, Hunt Secretary, Berks and Bucks Draghounds. Feeble name,
feeble hunt.

3. The Hon Mrs M V Chaworth-Musters. A trustee of the Grove and Rufford hunt
in Nottinghamshire. No comment required.

2. Commodore Tyrone H.G. Pile. A senior figure in the Canadian navy,
Commodore Pile appears destined to end up at the bottom of the sea.

1. Janion Glasscock - Board member, Atkins Rail. – And people thought
British Rail was a laughing stock!

I Say, I Say, I Say!
There were two kids on a council housing estate
One kid says: We’ve got cockroaches and rats in our council house.
The other kid replies: That’s nothing we’ve got social workers coming into
our house.

Senior (that’s real pigs to you and me) police believe that they are being
victimised by revenge attacks on there police stations. Three bombs at
separate pig stations have been set off by local teenagers, one bomb blowing
a hole in the wall at a station in Liverpool, the other two bombs were
placed using industrial fireworks behind the petrol tanks of patrol cars.
Officers believe that the campaign is being orchestrated by a north
Liverpool gang based behind bars, as they can’t believe that the locals hate
them so much to blow them up.
Bizarrely the police are hoping witnesses will come forward but if any one
has information do not to bother ringing the police station as its been
blown up!

Overheard quote of the month
Whilst walking past traffic in London I noticed a builders van was being
stared at by a Police Community Support officer and there was some talk
about a tax disc being out of date. I heard the driver reply “Come back when
you’re a real copper now fuck off.”

Second Class Passengers
One of the major causes of death in the 1999 Ladbroke Grove train crash was
suffocation - many people could not escape from carriages where there was
dense smoke. Others burnt to death for the same reasons. Given this a
recommendation of the subsequent Cullen report was that "There should be a
thorough review of the adequacy of the number of, and signage relating to,
emergency hammers"
Class War can reveal that in the case of Turbo trains, operated by First
Great Western, this review has now been carried out. Hammers for breaking
windows are now placed in all first class carriages. For those in standard
class, there is nothing.
What better comment could there be on our railway system?


Class War Against Christian Wankers

Welcome all you prayer dodgers out there to the latest hot off the press
news once again attacking these pilots. To be honest it didn’t really take
much work to find out the latest paedophile scandal as there are so many
stories out there, it seems each week there is a scandal or cover up by the
church, In fact we could fill the paper up with news on priests sickening
behaviour - there’s an idea!!!
Lets face it we all hate seeing and reading about nonce’s and perverts, it
seems to us that they have all joined the church to cover up there deprived
acts, so read on as I hope the story below will cheer us all up.

God's judgement, justice..... call it what you want. This fucker got what he
A former priest convicted of child sex abuse has been killed in prison in
the United States. John Geoghan, a central figure in the Catholic Church's
abuse scandal in Boston, was injured in an incident with another inmate at
the Souza-Baranowski Correction Center, in Shirley, Massachusetts, according
to jail officials.
He died shortly after being taken to Leominster Hospital. Authorities say
Geoghan appeared to have been strangled and fellow prisoner Joseph Druce,
serving a life sentence, will face murder charges in relation to the death.
Department of Correction spokeswoman Kelly Nantel said Geoghan had been held
in protective custody to shield him from the general prison population, but
he still had some contact with other inmates. She said the incident was
under investigation, but declined to give further details.
The former priest, 67, was given a six-year prison sentence last year for
molesting a 10-year-old boy. The BBC's Jane Standley in New York said the
accusations against Geoghan went back more than 30 years and documents which
were revealed in court sparked the scandal which has shrouded the Roman
Catholic Church in the United States.
They showed that his superiors knew of the complaints against him, but they
covered them up and moved him repeatedly to new parishes in the Boston area.
He was believed to have attacked more than 130 children over the last three
Churchgoers in Boston were shocked by the revelations about the extent of
sexual abuse by priests. As the abuse came to light, more people came
forward, alleging abuse by scores of other priests. More than 300 priests
resigned or were removed from their duties as a result - including the
Boston Cardinal Bernard Law. Geoghan's case eventually resulted in a
multi-million dollar settlement with 86 of his alleged victims.
Mitchell Garabedian, an attorney for many of Geoghan's alleged victims told
Reuters news agency that he was "surprised and shocked" by the former
priest's death.
"Many of my clients would have rather seen Father Geoghan serve out his time
in jail and endure the rigours of further criminal trials, so that his
paedophile acts could have been exposed further," he said.
Mr Garabedian said that since 1994 he had been approached by 147 people
claiming to have been sexually abused by Geoghan. He said there were
outstanding cases against the former priest.
Get this if it isn’t taken the piss. A spokesman for the Archdiocese of
Boston, the Reverend Christopher Coyne, offered prayers for Geoghan's
family, and for the repose of his sick fucking evil soul.

Flying in the faces of mounting victims of paedophiles within the Catholic
Church, three disgraced Melbourne Catholic priests -- a paedophile, a
fornicator and a third convicted of violence -- have received a form of
pardon from the Vatican in Rome.

Red Pepper Journalist Harassed
Typical of the Israeli Government is its treatment of journalist Ewa
Ms Jasiewicz a correspondent for the magazine Red Pepper landed at Tel Aviv
airport and was detained by the authorities, who claim she is a political
activist and that her reporting would not be objective.
She was interrogated by Defence Ministry Officials for seven hours. They
told her she would be deported but she decided to appeal against this. In
response, was detained in prison pending an appeal hearing.
NUJ freelance organiser John Toner said: "Ewa Jasiewicz is a bona fide
journalist who has travelled to Israeli to research a story. She holds an
NUJ Press Card and an IFJ International Press Card, and it is outrageous
that she should be treated in this way.
The question is, if that is what they will do to a British journalist, what
are they doing to the Palestinians?

Don’t Believe The Hype
A new darling of the British left and liberals the world over is Venezuelan
president Hugo Chavez, Class War is in regular contact with a class struggle
Anarchist group in Venezuela, who produce the El Libertario magazine, and
who tell a slightly more complicated story.

The August 2004 elections legitimised Hugo Chávez's presidency, approved by
the multinational powers-that-be, despite the opposition's claims of
electoral fraud. We, at El Libertario (issue 39, September/October 2004),
presented an indepth analysis of the consequences of the referendum, as well
as proposals for action in the new circumstances. We shall now quote a
couple of notes from that issue that express the essence of the Venezuelan
anarchists' perspective.
Social movements must tear down every wall blocking their autonomy. From the
viewpoint of the leaders of the two opposing camps (the official, under Hugo
Chávez, and the so-called Coordinadora Democrática), people's participation
and bottom-up democracy are mere slogans without any basis in reality. These
leaders prove once and again that, in order to remain in charge and
accumulate more power, they are willing to do any kind of
behind-closed-doors deal, as well as performing any political juggling
necessary to channel the citizens' anger towards their own benefit.
Autonomy means everybody being capable of self-determination, able to
establish their own dynamics and pursuing their own concrete goals. The
self-proclaimed leaders know perfectly well that their living depends upon
turning their own affairs into general interest issues. They present
themselves before their constituencies as guarantors of their aspirations,
which will be realised in an hypothetical future if, and only if, they are
appointed as their bosses. But they never deliver, no matter their colours.
For these politicians, the only thing that really matters is to perpetuate
their own positions of power.
The current levels of poverty, unemployment, street violence and general
ills are not going away without a deep structural change. Anything less is
mere crumbs falling from the table of those who talk about "revolution"
while pocketing millions. One alternative: to break up completely with the
pseudo-leaderships old and new, and for the excluded and oppressed of any
colour to build our own paths. To create new organisations, horizontal and
non-hierarchical spaces, where nobody speaks in the name of anyone else, as
well as being the foundations for building a new kind of life and resistance
to the old one. As free-thinking individuals, we go against the tide of the
established ideas and practices born out of false consensus and blackmail,
deepening our experiences through socialisation and self-teaching. These
spaces shall recover our best traditions of citizenship, participation and
solidarity, and build a really alternative culture, one which takes into
account every side of the human being.

Let's turn a deaf ear to the sirens' wails; their power is built upon lies.
When they talk about "civil society against dictatorship", they are planning
to occupy future ministries and governorships. When they decry against
"imperialism" and "oligarchy", they are giving away the countrys' wealth to
the multinationals in the privacy of five star hotels. When they propose to
create "emergency programs against poverty", it is because they will not
change the social structure that creates it, since it brings huge profits to
them. They only call to "participation" when they need our votes. When they
call to "unity" and "reconciliation" it is because they want to shut us up
and reduce us to passivity.
No politician does your work; let no one make your decisions. From the
diversity of common practices shall be born the community of multiple,
limitless forms of association with which we shall fight every form of
domination. To weave a dense social fabric, is incompatible with warlords,
politicos, militarists and demagogues of all colours. Shedding out every
kind of dependency, we exercise our potential for autonomy. Anything less
than that would mean to remain forever under the thumbs of those who profit
upon our miseries.

º Revocatory Referendum: Power's "Reality Show"
The August 2004 electoral circus was intended to perpetuate the lies that
the media, both state-owned and private, had presented to us, ratified by
the officialists and the "opposition" before public opinion. All Venezuelan
people were the spectators; they swindled us, making us choose between a
"Yes" and "No" about an individual, as if this would solve our collective
problems. That the event would end up in fraud was predictable. Not because
the losers claim it, or because the process could be manipulated for one
cause or another; but, because the real fraud are the so-called differences
between the government and the opposition, just like the referendum itself
is a swindle when it comes to solving poverty, the militarization of
society, or the slow process of giving away the country to the
multinationals. The high costs of this election circus, contrasted with the
realities of health, environment, education and well-being of the population
confirms it.
Social problems cannot be solved from the heights of power, nor by the
economically privileged, but by society itself. Power can only be used to
regulate misery, and legalise inequality. It dominates, imposes a single
criterion, while at the same time keeping an ambiguous and absolutist
discourse, denying any glimmer of freedom. It doesn't know any other logic.
It doesn't like plurality. The Coordinadora Democrática gave multiple proof
of that in the past, and the unseen players who finance it are still doing
it in the present. These beggars of power have lost every right to speak in
the name of a people they don't represent. People have their own voice, and
the responsibility to open up their own spaces, where they can exercise
their autonomy through direct democracy, and in so doing to get their own
voice and action. This means: to destroy authoritarianism everywhere it
exists and to pursue their own well-being.

Both the exaltation of the military persona of Chávez and its ahistorical
linking to that of Bolivar, is intended to legitimise neo-liberal politics
with demagogical words. They have also played up the "US Invasion" scare, an
ironic prelude to this government's giving away of the country's oil to
corporations like Chevron-Texaco or Repsol-YPF, champions of capitalist
globalisation. This revolution is being financed with money from the
multinationals, from the very same imperialism that is supposedly out to
invade us. It has learned to coexist with global power, as long as it pays
"our price". Those very same groups enrich themselves in Venezuela, start
the Puebla-Panama Plan against the Central America peoples, pollute and loot
Ecuador, and finance the troops invading Iraq or any other country they want
to. All of it thanks to "our price", and the Venezuelan reserves
guaranteeing to the US a good 17% of its oil consumption.
Latin America has to learn that language is not always what it seems; that
"revolution" is an empty word in the mouth of people like Chávez, Lula or
any other who speaks from the heights of power. In this continent, that word
has been used only to describe who is better at managing Capitalism. It is
of vital importance to understand that a better future won't be given to us
by the State, only organised society can confront it and open the way
towards real change. We need to widen the debate, to listen to one another
beyond the useless squabbles about Chávez. The libertarian movement must
support and join this transformation, along with that 'people' so many talk
about but nobody listens to. Our battle is against Power, in any guise it
adopts. Neither "humane" national capitalism nor multinational capitalism;
self-management is still our theory, autonomy our practice. Going headlong
against neo-liberalism, inequality and authoritarianism, with direct action
and mutual aid as our tools to build the possible utopia of freedom,
equality and solidarity.

For more and updated info & analysis on what is happening in Venezuela, see
the English section in El Libertario`s website at

Back by popular demand it’s the……….
Class War Good Pub Guide

Nasty with a capital N, the lager will be guaranteed bottled nats-piss and
will be the same price as a pint, there will be NO SMOKING signs plastered
everywhere including the toilets. Your missus will want an overprized
Manhattan and will start nagging all night if you refuse…but worse of all
you could be near a septic tank shouting there big oversized gobs off,
unless of course you are actually in America where they don’t have pubs
anyway there called bars.

Hard to spot at first, they usually have a rainbow flag somewhere. Worth
having a quick scan for especially in London, as they tend to have a late
licence and its fun seeing if you can spot anyone you know hiding at the
back. Avoid if you don’t like very, very bad dancing.

To be avoided at all cost, middle classes flock to these establishments like
flies to shit, to sit on there own near the window and wait for you to sit
next to them so they can bore you shitless about how much there house is
worth. There is constant annoyance by people talking on mobiles…. settees
get a grip its like sitting at home.

These are pubs that try to hard not to be pubs, I can’t even bare talking
about these.

You may find yourself away from Blackpool on your annual holidays …… so
here’s some pubs to steer clear off in far away places

Could be cheap - bottled beer, but no doubt they will be full of squaddies
..URGH Say no more - and journalists sulking in the corner waiting to be
kidnapped. The plus side is that people drink fast in these pubs as you
never know how long you are going to last without being blown to bits.

Where ever you go in the world there will always be an Irish theme pub
usually owned by the natives and are as about Irish as Tory Blair. The
locals will stare at you and wonder in amazement that you are drinking from
a pint glass, the Guinness will taste like flat lard and will be overpriced.
The plus side is there will be no old trout singing to the duke box. Unless
of course you go to Ireland, where they all pretend to like Americans and
pay people to sing.

Class War
PO Box 467 London E8 3QX
Class Unity
Class Pride
Class War


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