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(en) UK, Class war 86 - The Really Silly Silly Names List, Class War's usual round-up exposing, Hard Times for Bolton Wanderers, The Class War Calling; Money, Money, Money; White Van Men, The Real Hare Krishnas!

From Worker <a-infos-en@ainfos.ca>
Date Sun, 28 Mar 2004 10:07:54 +0200 (CEST)


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The Really Silly Silly Names List
If there is one thing the ruling class are useful for, it is giving us a
good laugh. If our last list was good, this one is an absolute belter!
9. Mr Torquil Macnaughton, venture capitalist. Say no more!
8. Mr Christian Pratt, Head of Marketing, Association of Train
Operating Companies. No wonder the trains don~t run on time!
7. Air Chief Marshall Sir Jock Stirrup. Sir Jock to his friends, but
plain old Mr Stirrup to us! Amongst the guests at last years state
banquet for the President of the United States , he was
accompanied by the delightfully named Lady Stirrup.
6. Mr Rupert Rhymes OBE. A theatre impressario, his name is
sure to reduce both the stalls and upper tier to fits of laughter.
5. Mr Tecwen Whittock. The man with the cough on ~Who wants
to be a millionaire~. How did he expect no one to notice him with
a name like that?
4. Professor Sir Keith O~Nions. A name to make your eyes water,
Professor O~Nions is Chief Scientific Adviser at the Ministry of
Defence. Has anyone considered the theory that his colleague Dr
David Kelly did not commit suicide but actually died laughing?
3. Mr James Badman. We are able to report that Mr Badman is a
leading activist in the right-wing Farmers for Action group. Very
apt! At this point we should also mention Field Sports
Publications Ltd. Amongst a series of titles about killing animals,
they produce the unfortunately named Stalking Magazine. Try
asking the woman in your corner shop for that!
2.Commander Cressida Dick. Ms Dick (stop it!) is Head of Serious
Crime and the Diversity Directorate at the Metropolitan Police.
Our current favourite though has to be ~~.
1. Ms Camilla Giddy – A member of the Political
Department of the Countryside Alliance, where she works as a
researcher. Known as the Giddy Goat to Hunt Sabs everywhere!

If They Had Brains They Would Be Dangerous
Welcome to Class War~s usual round-up exposing
~intelligence-led policing~ throughout the UK.

First up is naturally the Met, who now have an important new
direct line. Inspector John Sutherland compiles e -mails listing
crimes in Hammersmith and Fulham. What is different however
is he then sends the details to local church goers, who pray for a
reduction in street crime or the arrest of a burglar. With such an
authority behind him what is stop Inspector Sutherland bringing
harmony to the streets of London?
One problem may be his fellow officers , who would after all try
the patience of a saint. Rather than embrace his methods, he is
referred to instead as ~John the Baptist~. No doubt he is still
praying for them.

Northumbria Police lost one of their finest last year when PC
Graham Brown was jailed for seven years. Brown had enjoyed a
profitable relationship with a local pimp where he supplied
confidential police information in return for free access to
prostitutes.
Whilst Brown~s girlfriend, WPC Lois Murray, worked nights,
Brown entertained himself to a series of vice girls in the home they
shared. Well what did she expect going out with a copper?

What can we say to the two South Wales Police officers currently
confined to desk duties after an ~off-duty incident~ at a party in
Pontarddulais. OK, so the two children injured were, well
~~..children , but they were both pretty big lads. For their age.
One for the force~s anti-bullying officer clearly.

Attacks on the police can take many forms, but we were
particularly impressed by the class conscious squirrel in Consett,
Co Durham that noticed PC Graeme Whitfield napping at his
desk. The grey squirrel entered Consett police station, ran up
Whitfield~s leg and bit his hand before escaping. Still, everyone
knows squirrels are attracted to nuts.

A special mention must also go to the ten police officers based in
Newham, east London, who found themselves several miles away
in Tower Bridge, last October. Had they been chasing a dangerous
suspect who would stop at nothing to escape justice?
No, they decided to leave East Ham and nip down to see David
Blaine suspended in a glass box above the Thames. Well done
guys – where would the people of London be
without you?

Its farewell though to German police dog Falk, who has been
dismissed from Dresden police for being too nice. The bloodhound
apparently preferred running in nearby woods to running around
doing the cops work for them. This sort of story has been in the
news before and it does make you wonder – does
anyone – or even any dog – ever
get thrown out of the police for being too nasty? And if so why
does it never get in the papers?

There is little doubt though that our winner in the daft cops
competition this issue, and probably of all time, has to be shared
between Greater Manchester, Cheshire and North Wales Police
forces. Last years classic BBC ~The Secret Policeman~
documentary showed undercover footage of police officers as
millions of people see them everyday – as stupid,
aggressive, bigoted little men (and women) who without a stick
and a badge would be little more than pub bores.
Nine police officers resigned after being filmed making racist
comments and threatening violence towards members of the
public.
A special mention has to go to (ex) PC Robert Pulling from North
Wales for admitting to being a BNP voter and for praising
Hitler~s ~right ideas~. We hope you enjoy the next 30 years of
your life working as a security guard Robert – you
deserve it!

Hard Times for Bolton Wanderers
Whilst Sam Allardyce seems to be turning Bolton Wanderers into
an established Premier League side, for the other Bolton
Wanderers life is not looking too good. When approximately forty
Loyalists were forced out of Northern Ireland in 2003, the majority
ended up in and around Horwich in Bolton, last February. With
their leader Johnny ~Mad Dog~ Adair in prison, what was left of
Belfast UDA~s C Company fled Belfast, under threat of death,
from their former comrades.
They were soon nicknamed the Bolton Wanderers, and settled
into the former life styles they had enjoyed in Belfast
– drug dealing, intimidation and flirting with
born-again Christianity. Quite what the people of Horwich had
done to deserve this is unclear.
The first of the Wanderers to hit trouble was Alan McCullough.
Unable to settle in England, he pleaded to be allowed back to
Belfast. After providing information on loyalists living in Bolton to
the UDA, he returned to Belfast – and was
promptly murdered last May.
More fortunate was ~Fat Jackie~ Thompson – in
December a bomb placed under his car failed to detonate. Perhaps
not surprisingly John White, the ~brains~ of the exiles and a man
who was once regularly involved at the highest level in the peace
process, was keeping his head down. White now claims to have
swapped his drug dealing for the way of the Lord. Perhaps.
As for the most famous of the Bolton Wanderers –
Johnny Adair~s wife, Gina (Mad Bitch) and son Jonathan (Mad
Pup) times are very hard indeed. The long leash given to them in
Northern Ireland has not extended to Greater Manchester
– both have been arrested for drug dealing, with
Mad Pup currently facing ten separate charges.
But why Bolton? One suggestion is that the Wanderers had
previously met fascists from the Bolton area who had travelled to
loyalist parades in Northern Ireland. Certainly the British National
Party, usually so quick to condemn drug dealing and asylum
seekers, have been pretty quiet on the activities of this group of
un-wanted refugees. Mark Collett, the former leader of the
BNP~s youth group was filmed praising Adair in a Channel 4
documentary, whilst BNP leader Nick Griffin was a frequent
visitor to Northern Ireland in the 1980s.
Birds of a feather it seems, flock together.

The Class War Calling
Technology is never neutral. More than 500 British call centres
now have the technology to pretty much tell what class you are
– as soon as you make a phone call.
Software has been created that recognises your post code when
you phone a service provider. People from wealthier post codes are
then put through to agents authorised to give generous deals.
Those from poorer postal areas can be kept on hold, or put
through to a recorded message.
Nick Randall of AIT Group, who provide software for banks
commented ~ You want your best, most articulate staff dealing
with the best customers. Hopefully consumers don~t realise what
is happening~
Mr Randall we do realise what is happening. As do more and
more people.

Money, Money, Money
The cost of policing George W Bush~s three day state visit to
Britain in 2003 - &4,142, 536 .
This bill comprises:
Salary payments to police during the visit - &2,474,552
Police logistics during the visit &1,667,987

None of these costs are paid by the US government, who
organised the trip, the Queen, who hosted Bush at Buckingham
Palace, or even Tony Blair, who invited him. All of it is paid for by
you and me.
It really is a rich man~s world!

White Van Men
Is there a white VW Transporter van outside your house? If so
switch the telly off, as the BBC have bought a fleet of these vans
to clamp down on licence dodgers.
With the intellectual case for the licence fee looking weaker all the
time (especially as the BBC now advertise their own products all
the time) the BBC are getting desperate – it is
likely the Home Office will soon give detector van drivers the
powers to issue on the spot penalties.
There is no need to panic here though – they have
no right of entry and last year they admit that four out of five of
their visits were unsuccessful. Why not save yourself &116 a
year?

I Was Third In Line To The Throne ~~~ But Then I Got High!
Class War was amused but not surprised to find that Prince Harry
has really out done himself by achieving the lowest grade in his
year at Eton in Geography!
You would think that with all that privileged education the thick
inbred bastard would manage at least a C grade but the dopey
dunce only scrapped a D! What a thick twat!
He has now decided to take a gap year and do some travelling
– given his knowledge of geography lets hope the
dozy cunt gets lost!

The Real Hare Krishnas!
Well we've had the Real IRA and the Real Countryside Alliance,
so now make way for those saffron robed crusaders the Real Hare
Krishna movement! 'You what' we can here you say?
Unbelievable but true. A group of Hare Krishna monks are trying
to restore the cult to it's original ideals and away from the rape,
murder and child abuse that has been all too prevalent over the last
twenty years.
Originally set up in the late 60's by a Bengali holy-man the
movement called ISKCON was left to 11 senior western disciples
to carry on his work after his death in 1977. What they created was
a billion dollar business built on noncing, drugs and extortion.
They divided up the world wide organisation into 11 regions and
have run it like competing Mafia crime families. $200 million has
so far been paid out in damages to the families of children abused
by these alleged holy-men.
As in all religions there are those who are genuine believers and
try to
live as decent and well intentioned lives as they can. Bring on the
Real
Hare Krishnas. They are a movement within a movement. Most
members are not publicly recognisable as they risk murder and
physical abuse. In Bangalore, India the biggest Hare Krishna
temple in the world has joined the rebels officially known as the
IRM and have been physically attacked by the devotees of the
leaders of the official movement. One monk blew himself up
trying to plant a bomb to kill IRM members attending the temple.
On another occasion 72 'official' monks were arrested after
rampaging
through the streets outside a Mayapur IRM temple. What is in the
free food these people give out? It's certainly stronger than three
Shredded Wheat!
Many leaders of ISKCON today have had their time in the dock,
but here's what happened to some of the original 11 who took
over in the late 70's.

JAYATIRTHA: Left ISKCON to start his own LSD cult and had
his head cut off by one of his followers in a drug-induced attack in
London. Ouch!

TAMAL KRISHNA GOSWAMI: Told many different stories to
justify the guru-hoax and carve up, died in a nasty car crash..oops!

Bhagavan: Left ISKCON after being caught noncing, was
imprisoned and is now back in the movement...surprise surprise!

KIRTANANANDA: Left ISKCON after being caught noncing.
Currently doing time for racketeering.. shame! A bullet would
have been better.

RAMESVARA: Left ISKCON after being caught noncing (you
might be seeing a pattern emerging here!) Now a millionaire
working in real estate.

JAYAPATAKA SWAMI: Under police investigation for
abatement to suicide. Still a leading member and likely instigator
of bomb attack in Mayapur.

HARIKESHA: A leading celibate monk, he ran off with his
massage therapist and a large bag of cash. Now happily married
and enjoying the cash. And his therapist!

All the above were the cream of the Hare Krishna movement!
Pure Cult-tastic! Is that an axe under your dhoti or are you just
pleased to see me?!


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